Sometimes as Christians we can feel like failures when the emotions we feel seem more powerful and stronger than the faith and trust that we hold. At first, it may feel wrong ti feel these, but emotions, as troubling as they can be at times, can also be beautiful, honest, and raw. And that’s how God wants us to come to Him…honest and raw. These emotions are what makes us human. They are what made Jonah run in fear. They made David cry out in despair. They even made Jesus cry out on the cross.
I have been feeling this way, but gradually, through this experience, I have learned that the opposite is true. It is through those emotions, processing them and bringing them openly before God, that my faith and trust have solidified. The promises of God, which I had been preaching to myself through this whole process have been clearly identified and revealed to a, admittedly at times, broken heart.
In sharing this unwanted adventure, everyone has been prayerful, encouraging and supportive. The people I have appreciated the most are the ones who validated my emotions and let me just be angry or scared. They didn’t try to fix them. They didn’t tell me to just have faith and trust. I had those things. They just let me feel them followed with a gentle reminder to tell God about it. If I am angry at Him to tell Him. If I don’t understand, then tell Him. That, more than anything, was what I needed to hear…that it’s okay to not be okay.