Throwback Thursday: SYZYGY (30 word writing prompt 2020)

We are a syzygy –

Connected by experience,

aligned by pain our hearts hold.

Now we float,

in the only realms

we can understand.

Life on earth,

is a distant memory.

Throwback Thursday: Let the Wind Take Hold (2017)

white windmill
Photo by Johan Bos on Pexels.com

Our minds are like the tallest tree where the heaviest and strongest winds test the strength of the branches. Our thoughts are the many leaves attached to each branch. Some thoughts gladly let the wind take hold of them and send them either soaring in the rush or floating gently down. There are those others, though. The thoughts that are stubborn and shrewd. They hold tight with all their power and refuse to let go no matter the wind force. These are the ones we dislike.

We can’t see the wind just like we can’t see our thoughts. However, we can see the effects of the wind. We can also see the effects of our thoughts, and feel them as well. The Bible tells us to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” This does not come easy for a lot of people. However, we know that we are called to do it. It is for our benefit that we learn to do it so we can protect our minds and self from where those stubborn or dark thoughts can potentially lead.

The “wind” is there to help us let go of them. Psalm 104:4: “He makes the wind his messengers.” Our help to battle is in the “wind.” Stop fighting and let it take hold.

PSALM 130:5 – My Synomatic Version

I wait.

With eagerness and expectation, I wait for the Lord.

I trust in His enduring Word –

In it alone I put my hope.

My soul waits.

My whole being waits.

His help is coming.

I wait.

I watch.

He will rescue me.

Favorite Paragraph from Chapter 4

I finished Chapter 4 of my novel. Oh, this chapter!

It really has so much of myself in it!

Here is my favorite paragraph from it:

For Evelyn, she was still that teenage girl dishing out a scoop of chocolate ice cream for the dreamy boy who sat at the bar. She piled it high with whipped cream and added sprinkles at no charge. It would take Lawrence three more visits over the next two weeks to gather the courage to finally introduce himself. Only one week after that to ask her if he could walk her home.  Four years later, he would ask her to walk down the aisle.

Throwback Thursday: CHEERS! (100 Word Story- July 2020)

“Cheers!”

She was the last one to raise her glass and the only one not to take a sip. 

He was the only one who knew why.

He watched her, quietly and uninvited, from across the room. She looked beautiful in the long, fitted, red gown. Her toffee brown hair draped around her shoulders hiding her scarred, yet tantalizing neckline.

She smiled at the gentleman talking to her. Mustering out a fake giggle at something he perceived as witty, she lightly touched his arm.

She turned, locked eyes with the man across the room, and dropped her glass of champagne.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: A Lesson in Self-Care (2016)

I sat in front of the therapist for the first time by myself. I had gotten to know her well through the many visits I had driven my daughter to. She tried her best to help my daughter, but in the end the Social Anxiety Disorder overtook her and I ended up having to take her for some intake care at a local retreat center.  

Before it got bad enough to take her somewhere, I spent 24 hours a day being her caregiver. Every moment of the day was spent worrying about her and catering to her every need just like a mother would. I gave her everything I had and everything else in the world stopped for me. I was consumed with the duty of making sure she was alright. I was exhausted on every level – emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. 

I thought that when she came home from the center I would feel relief and less stress. However, this was not the case. It just changed forms. I was still on my toes constantly taking care of and overseeing her care. I was so obsessed with her that I completely neglected to take care of myself. 

I had nothing left to give myself. All I had was for her.

Shortly after she returned, I drove her back to the therapist for her first visit since. I was surprised the therapist asked to speak with me afterwards. I sat in the armchair across from her and waited for the update on my daughter. I did receive an update on her, but the update was not at all what I expected. She told me my daughter was worried about me!  

She asked me what I was doing to practice self-care. My response was quite curt to be honest. I asked if she was serious (in a not so nice tone).  I told her how this was not the appropriate time to be thinking about myself. I was angry that she even assumed I had time to do that.

She graciously smiled and reached out her hand, placing it atop of mine. She asked me in her pleasing, calm voice, “how can you possibly take care of your daughter if you aren’t taking care of yourself?”

It was at that point the tears rolled down and there was no stopping them. I listened to her tell me about the importance of self-care and stress to me that if I didn’t practice some form of it, I would actually be doing a disservice to my daughter. She spoke to my heart with those words.

Before this conversation I completely misunderstood self-care. I thought it was selfish. During this conversation, though, I grasped a completely new understanding of what it meant. Self-care was not selfish and if I wanted to be able to help my daughter, I first had to help myself.  

I immediately started practicing self-care. I still had doubts lingering, but I quickly realized how much of a difference it made. I felt tremendously better and was able to serve my daughter better than I ever had.  To be a good caregiver, it is a must that you care for yourself. 

Although it took a difficult experience to grasp an understanding of the importance of self-care, I am extremely grateful for it. 

I am a better giver since learning how to give to myself.

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